Before that I'd never committed to a goal so I never saw a significant result.

But at this point, I'd got sick of hearing myself say "I'll start next Monday"

I wasn't just fed up, I was fed up of being fed up.

I had no confidence around girls. ❌

I hated being known as "the fat kid" at school. ❌

I couldn't stand hearing my excuses about why I couldn't be consistent. ❌

I wanted to wear clothes that I liked, instead of choosing clothes based on what hid my belly best. ❌

I didn't know it at the time, but the reason I was so lazy and binge ate so often.

Was because I was suffering with anxiety and being my own biggest critic in my head.

Wherever I went I assumed everyone was talking about me, judging me and that I was the odd one out.

Because this anxiety and overthinking was so exhausting, I would turn to food to comfort myself.

When I'd eat I wouldn't think. I'd happily go into a food coma for a few hours.

Which made things worse because I'd put on more weight, so I'd become more self conscious and leave the house less.

So now I was too anxious to be out socially, but also depressed because I felt disappointed in who I was.

Sometimes I'd secret eat, because I was scared what people would think if they knew how much I'd consume.

When I finally did lose weight, I felt great after just a few weeks.

Exercise became my new escapism.

I also felt empowered because I was working out and taking some control of my life.

But I realise now, that I'd become addicted to that control.

I was obsessed with working out everyday.

Obsessed with not eating "bad" foods.

Obsessed with being perfect.

I'd created this black and white thinking that, exercising and low calorie means good.

Anything like "rest days" or "carbohydrate foods" we're bad.

So I was either doing well or I was a complete failure for not hitting a target.

I'm not a CBT therapist, but 1 thing I've learnt through many personal development books is that mental health struggles are often related to control or a lack of.

Anxiety: Fear of what you can't control.

Depression: Disappointment and apathy in yourself, because you don't believe you can change or control anything.

OCD: The attempt to control everything to try and feel comfortable.

The problem here is that so many people I meet feel how I did a few years back.

They lose a lot of weight by being regimented and strict.

But they can't live like that forever.

Does this relate to you at all?

Not a lot of people speak about this even though it's extremely common.

So when you do "fall off the bandwagon" you think you're the only one that does.

Which creates shame, guilt and negative self talk.

So now you are too scared to loosen your grip of the control and restrictions you've created around food, exercise and life.

And you also ignore the reality that you can't control 50% of the things that happen in the process.

But if you don't loosen the grip you become miserable and hate the process.

Which would you rather...

Lose weight & be miserable because you can't eat and have fun?

Or

Stay how you are and use food and drink as a way to boost your happiness temporarily?

Neither thanks!

The other option is to change how you feel about yourself, whilst you lose weight and enjoy food.

This is what we call mindset...

When I say mindset I mean:

Your beliefs about you.

How you talk and treat yourself.

Your relationship with challenges.

What you focus on in the process.

Improving my mindset significantly improved my mental health.

I stopped treating exercise as a punishment for eating.

I gave myself looser reigns around food and dieting.

I stopped focusing on what I cant control and focusing more on what I could.

These are all things I help clients with.

When you improve your mindset you will:

 

1. Trust yourself in the process which will make you more present and

2. Allow yourself to recognise and celebrate the progress you are making.

3. Motivate yourself through desire and what you want to achieve. Instead of being motivated by fear and what you want to avoid which is exhausting.

4. Giving yourself permission to do things you want to to lose weight. Rather than thinking you have to do things you hate or the latest fad.

5. Focus on what you can control rather than what you can't, which will save you so much time and energy for what's important.

Grab a piece of paper and ask yourself:

 

How can I live a healthier life in a way that I'd enjoy?

What have I done in the past that made me hate exercising and dieting?

What could I try instead next time?

How did I treat myself in the process last time?

How can I treat myself this time that will help me succeed and make me more enthusiastic?

When you change the way you look at things, the thing you look at change. Wayne Dyer

Changing the way we approach fitness will change our results.

Sometimes we need a birds eye view of this to become aware of what needs changing.

This is where coaching is helpful.

If you need help with this, feel free to send me a message through the contact form 🙂