When I was 16 I said I was going to start properly on Monday.
When I was 22 I would read self improvement books hoping they would change my life alone.
When I was 28 I told myself that there was a problem with all my ex partners.
What’s the common thread between all these events?
They all made me feel good and avoid some level of responsibility.
The rest of the honesty was neglected because I wanted to feel good ALL THE TIME.
Reading about self-improvement felt better than doing stuff.
Blaming my ex girlfriends for our unsuccessful relationship felt comfortable.
Putting off change and action to Monday felt like I was an action taker whilst just thinking about it.
For a long time, I valued feelings over honesty.
But I’ve started to realise something.
We live in an age of dishonesty.
We hide from the truth to feel better.
If this was Poker and feelings were one hand and honesty was another.
Feelings would win 9/10.
Please listen carefully.
I was an actor for 6+ years, meaning that I am a very emotional person.
Feelings are NOT bad!
So, I can’t be categorised as emotionally unavailable.
But the older and more mature I become, I realise there is a BIG problem in prioritising feelings OVER honesty.
Honesty is the foundation for any form of improvement…
At work, in your relationship, even being honest about how you feel helps you process feelings.
Is it bad to say you are unhappy or disappointed with where you are in life?
OR
Should we lie to ourselves to make us feel good temporarily? “Hey Brenton, there’s nothing wrong you are amazing and always have been…”
Is it bad to say you aren’t currently happy with your body?
OR
Should you just focus on all the positives in the mirror?
As much as seeing the value in yourself is important.
I don’t think it’s healthy to use that as an excuse to overlook what you’d like to work on.
That’s if it is something you can change.
The age we are in we don’t want the honesty element.
We want the feel good.
The finish line of the marathon.
The compliment after the 16 weeks of dieting.
The more you value feeling “good” the less you will value the work.
But on top of that.
You won’t like feeling neutral.
The process is neutral.
It can be boring.
Neutral will feel like negative to a person that always needs to feel good or happy.
The benefits of feeling bad:
When you feel bad it’s information that you aren’t being who you want to be. Which is an opportunity to improve.
When you feel bored, it’s an invitation for you to ask yourself what can I do new or differently? (Which is where creativity is born)
"Feelings aren’t good or bad, only thinking makes it so."
Shakespeare.
I invite you today to embrace your feelings, accept them and sometimes express them.
But don’t let those feelings trump honesty.
Because dishonesty Muddy's the water.
Muddy waters mean you can't see things for what they are.
For example, is this a challenge or an opportunity?
Is this my fault or something that just happens?
This plays a big part in weight loss and challenging yourself.
Muddy waters = You cannot make decisions or when you do they are just guesses!
You are going to have to think on your feet.
And you’ll never have that confidence and self-trust to do so if you are scared to be honest with yourself.
The good the bad and the ugly.
This is how I coach clients.
I deal in the truth and what’s been proven to work.
And then I make that work in the best way possible for you so that you feel good on the way to the result.
Honesty 1st.
Feelings 2nd.
Impulsive behaviours off of feelings always comes with slow problems over time.
Whereas working with me it gets easier and easier to keep progressing.
Fill in the enquiry form if you’d like to know more about working with me 😊
