“It was all going well Brenton, until someone bought me a prosecco on Saturday!”
“Every time I go to my in laws, they just keep feeding me random things and I feel too guilty to say no.”
I'm sure you've been in this situation and it can be very frustrating!
Social peer pressure is real!
As the saying goes, “Hang around 5 smokers, you’ll become the 6th”.
The worst part is when a “treat meal” or “cheat day” isn’t planned.
And that’s because you lose trust in yourself, and you then feel out of control of what you eat going forward.
If you planned that beverage all week, it feels completely fine.
It’s a reward for your hard work that week.
But if not, you have an aftertaste of guilt which affects your mindset after that.
Here’s what I’m going to teach you today!
➡️ How to not feel pressured into eating foods that aren’t in line with your goals.
➡️ How to not feel guilty that you aren’t being “fun” or “difficult” by not having your usual drink when out with your friends.
This way you can still go out, socialise without feeling anxious in the build up and guilty the next day. ✅
Step 1: Planning for a middle ground...
Say for example you have a wedding on Saturday.
You need to get clear on what a perfect Saturday would look like…
Is that no alcohol whatsoever? No dessert and no chips and so on.
You are consciously imagining the extreme here…
Then you need to get clear on what an AWFUL Saturday looks like…
Maybe you succumb to every drink offered to you.
You get a dominoes pizza on the way home.
And have hangover food on the Sunday.
Now you’ve painted a picture of the two extremes,
this gives you an idea of what a realistic middle ground looks like…
Is that 2-3 drinks, preferably spirits?
Is that a starter and a main or a main and a dessert?
Does that mean you go for a walk or swim the following morning?
Like I always say, 20% of your diet should be relaxed anyway, so pick your battles and schedule them around your social events so they work in your favour.
This also breaks the habit of Yo – yo dieting.
Which is based on perfectionism and then giving up.
Step 2: Getting people on your team.
This step is VERY important!
everyone wants to feel important and valued.
Say to the 2-3 biggest culprits of peer pressure out of your friends and family.
"Can you help me with my goal this week or month?"
Say, “I really value your support, will you help me this Saturday?”.
They will most likely say “Of course, what is it you need me to do?”
You say: “I’m a couple of pounds away from my goal and I cant wait to celebrate when I get there. So, I’m planning to stick to 2-3 Gin and tonics, I’m going to relax my diet a little bit with a dessert too. But I don’t want to go overboard. Can you hold me accountable to sticking to that exactly?”
It is going to be very unlikely that someone would say I’m not going to do that for you.
Especially as they’ve already said of course I’ll help you and you’ve told them how much you value their support!
On top of that you’ve put yourself in a vulnerable position telling them that you need them. (People love to feel valued and you actually do value their support)
And here’s a bonus, if you choose the right 2-3 people to support you they will protect you when other feeders and peer pressure friends try to persist in you having that extra glass of wine or whatever…
This isn’t manipulation by the way.
This is being authentic in your wants and needs in a relationship.
The only other solution would be to resist them.
And like the saying goes “Whatever you resist, persists”.
Step 3: Reflect and learn.
After the event, you are going to think there’s things that went well and things that didn’t.
The next day, jot down 2 things that you learned about navigating peer pressure and eating out...
What can you do with that information to make next time even more effective?
Then write down 2 things that went well…
And how are you going to apply that to your next night out, family meal or whatever the scenario is?
The more confidence you build in navigating these scenarios the more you will enjoy weight loss whilst still getting to enjoy your social life!
The main emotions that hold people back from being consistent and building momentum are:
Around what to do in future scenarios. People rarely mention how draining anxiety is. Overthinking, procrastinating, worrying all come under the umbrella of anxiety. If you don’t feel a sense of control you will resort to one of the above I just mentioned.
Beating yourself up, self-loathing and disappointment are all heavy emotions that keep you dwelling on the past for days, sometimes weeks on end. Which then makes you either punish yourself as a response or give up on the process full stop.
This is all unnecessary baggage that slows you down when making change or getting out of your comfort zone.
Make it easier for yourself by:
1. Focusing on the things in your control and accepting the things that aren’t. (Make a list)
2. Learn from the past instead of berating yourself for previous mistakes. You are human like the rest of us. Give yourself permission to start a fresh!
These are some of the tools I use within my coaching to help clients free themselves of the heavy emotions that make them feel uncertain and unconfident in achieving the results they want.
You don’t have to deprive yourself of a social life.
But when you plan ahead of an event.
Even just visualising what it’s going to entail, will allow you to think of what you’ll expect being in the situation.
Too high expectations, fuels disappointment.
No preparation whatsoever, is a fast-track ticket to no control and confidence.
The middle ground usually is the solution.
I hope this article helped you today.
As it is a very important topic that can either make or break the results that you want.
If you want further help from me in implementing this.
Send me a message below to book a consultation 😊
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